Is It Wise To Date During Divorce Proceedings?

When it comes to dating while going through divorce proceedings, the divorce attorneys at Julyan Law Firm, LLP in Raleigh NC urge our all our clients to always exercise caution and discretion. Even though it will most likely not make any difference from a legal standpoint if you’re dating during your divorce proceeding, you may want to take into consideration the practical problems this could bring to the table during your case.


Going through the process of a divorce can be one of the most emotional and stressful times of your life. Now, let’s consider how it looks to your spouse if you are openly dating before the proceedings are finalized.


Of course, the emotional element can be devastating for your spouse. You may feel justified and that you’re moving on with your life. You may not even care what your spouse thinks, but you must consider that he or she may suspect that you had been involved in an adulterous relationship before the divorce proceedings began; regardless of whether that’s true or not.



Or, it could simply be that he or she may be hurt and angry that you have taken such a short period of time to “get on” with your life when they are still trying to put the pieces of their own life back together, or may still have an emotional connection to you.

The bottom line is this.. A hurt and angry spouse is much more likely to want to play hard ball or dig in his or her heels when it comes to the divorce settlement. What could have been an easy, straightforward, and very uncomplicated divorce proceeding, can easily turn into an unnecessary ugly battle that goes to court that’s decided by a judge.


Look at it this way. A protracted divorce proceeding is a more expensive divorce proceeding. So, you really have to take a step back and ask yourself if you are willing to face the possible emotional and financial repercussions that dating while during divorce could bring.

At the end of the day it’s certainly up to you to decide if you want to date during this time, but be aware that you should consult with your attorney first as to what the laws are in the state of North Carolinas and what effect your decision may have on your case.

If you have any questions concerning divorce in Raleigh North Carolina, speak to one of our experienced attorneys by calling (919) 851-0001 or contact us online 

Tuesday, 14 October 2014 14:16

lgbt communityResearch shows that an estimated 46,523 divorces are filed in the United States each week. While this may seem like a high number, it is likely that it will only continue grow: due to the expansion of LGBT rights in many states, specifically marriage equality, there are now more couples who can feasibly get divorced. While not exactly a commonly expressed sentiment in the LGBT community, the ability to participate in the divorce process is just as much part of LGBT equality as the ability to get married. However, while more states are approving marriage equality, few seem to be considering the necessity of preparing for the dissolution of those relationships. For this reason, many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples are hiring sympathetic divorce lawyers to help them through what can only be called a convoluted process of separation.

Currently, as many as 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, with the average divorce taking about a year to complete. However, the process can be even more costly and time-consuming for members of the LGBT community. According to a number of lawyers, there are two major problems with modern LGBT family law cases, even in states with marriage equality: firstly, there are many differences from state to state concerning LGBT relationships. This is typically seen when a couple gets married in a state that allows gay marriage but moves to or lives in another. Secondly, there are obvious differences in how states and the federal government treat LGBT divorces. This can be especially problematic when it comes to determining shared assets and other factors of a separation negotiation. In many cases, LGBT couples will find that even though they married in a state without a residency requirement, they are required to live in the area to legally divorce. Likewise, in states like California, which famously passed and repealed marriage equality, it can be difficult to determine what course to take. And because the LGBT community's right to marry is still in its infancy, few people know where to turn for help.

There are a number of consequences to this complicated, poorly-organized process: for example, even if couples separate, they may still be considered married depending on where one of the former partners lives. This potentially means that LGBT individuals could be charged with bigamy if they try to remarry, or have their end-of-life rights or estate transferred to a former partner upon their death. Thanks to a legal concept called marital presumption, new parents could even see their former partner's name on their child's birth certificate, as the birth parent's spouse is automatically assumed to be the second parent. Additionally, with so many unusual challenges, a divorce can be longer and therefore more expensive if the plaintiff and defendant identify as gay. With so many potential pitfalls, the path is clear: if you are in the process of obtaining a divorce, contact a family law firm experienced in the complex field of LGBT divorce. Until legal separation is as well established as marriage equality in the United States, proper representation is perhaps the only way to avoid catastrophe.

Wednesday, 01 October 2014 19:13

legal separation agreementsOn Wednesday, September 3, a federal judge in New Orleans upheld Louisiana's ban on gay marriage, upsetting a string of legal victories for the LGBT community across the United States. While this decision will primarily affect LGBT rights in the Pelican State, LGBT individuals and allies across the U.S. are likely now wondering how this ruling will impact the progress of LGBT equality as a whole. Will this create a rallying point for anti-gay activists to successfully spread their messages? Will marriage equality and LGBT rights continue to degrade, especially in the South? Does the legal system retain a bias against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender citizens? While many of these questions can only be answered with time, one thing is certain: if you identify as LGBT, particularly in a conservative state, hiring a lawyer who has experience working with queer clients can be extremely helpful. This is especially true if you or a partner is currently involved in family law court, where everything from legal separation agreements and custody of your children could be threatened by discrimination and fear.

Though gay marriage still is not legal in most states, many people who identify as LGBT will have dealings with various aspects of the divorce process. For example, many people enter into heterosexual relationships before finding a same-sex partner. Likewise, many transgender people spend years living as a cisgendered person. These and other situations can lead to marriages, children, and other factors that may need to be negotiated in family law court. However, given the prevalent history of discrimination against LGBT individuals in the court system, it is natural to feel apprehensive about the prospect of negotiating legal separation agreements and other aspects of a divorce. And given the famously bitter nature of many divorce cases, it is also natural to worry that former partners may try to use your sexual identity against you. In these cases, it can be extremely reassuring and helpful to have a legal professional at your side who is understanding of your situation and is prepared to help you combat any problems you may face.

Today, divorce is an incredibly common part of everyday life, with an estimated 50% of all marriages ending in divorce. In fact, while a significant number of the population still cannot legally marry the person they love, as many as 46,523 divorces are filed each week in the U.S. And with most divorce proceedings lasting a year on average, many LGBT people may find that hiring a lawyer who identifies as an ally is extremely helpful and offers an additional sense of security. Whether you're negotiating drafts of legal separation agreements or determining custody, you don't have to navigate a potentially unfriendly situation alone: hire a LGBT-friendly lawyer for you or your partner today.

Thursday, 21 August 2014 20:32

family law firmsBy the age of 30, an estimated 75% of American women will have been married. However, as reports over the years have testified, the rate of marriages is close to be matched by the rates of separation: an estimated 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Additionally, the likelihood of separation increases the more times a person has been married: an estimated 60% of second marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, and another 73% of third marriages end the same way. All in all, an estimated 46,523 divorces are filed each each week.

If you are one of the many people who is currently undergoing divorce proceedings, you likely understand that the process is a long and arduous one, and that it requires a great deal of thought and planning. From filling out separation agreements forms or uncontested divorce forms to participating in a family law mediation, legally separating involves a great deal of paperwork and negotiation. Therefore, it is typically best done with the help of an attorney from one of your local family law firms. This is especially true for members of the LGBT community, as well as other people with unique home situations that may not be easy for a traditional legal body like family law court to process.

With same sex marriage now recognized in many states, LGBT plaintiffs and defendants are becoming more common in divorce and family law cases for a variety of reasons: some likely were encouraged by greater social acceptance of LGBT rights and decided to end unhappy heterosexual marriages. Others, unfortunately, are same sex couples who found that marriage was not the right choice for them. Other individuals with non-traditional lifestyles, including polyamorous relationships, may also find themselves participating in family law court proceedings due to expanding social norms.

Unfortunately, the court system is not always an environment that is cognizant and understanding of differences or non-traditional realities. Moreover, members of the LGBT community may find themselves fearing potential discrimination for their orientation. For this reason, it is often a wise decision to hire family law firms for representation in divorce, custody negotiations, and other legal matters of a separation. A divorce or family law attorney who is acclimated to a variety of different clients will not only be able to use their legal experience and knowledge to best explain and argue the separation of a non-traditional couple to the court, but can also identify any potential discrimination aimed towards the plaintiff and defendant.

For this reason, if you are going through a divorce, researching family law firms should be your first step. Divorce proceedings can take as long as a year to complete: don't spend that year struggling to defend yourself and your identity. Instead, find a divorce lawyer who understands the particularities of your case.

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